i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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