i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize