he referred to my room as the tit cave...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
