well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
