i'm lost and i look like a hooker
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
