i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
