I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
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