I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
