No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
