My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
