I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
