well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
