No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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