Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
