So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
