I'm gonna have a badass scar
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
