I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
