FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
