he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
