NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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