Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
