Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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