Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
