That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
