and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
