Got a toothbrush?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
