Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
