i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
