pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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