he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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