Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
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