Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
