You're my little dorito
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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