Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
