shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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