She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
wow bdsm is so cute
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
