So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize