Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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