omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize