If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
