how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize