Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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