glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
