Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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