normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize