mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So apparently I’m into choking now
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
