Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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