Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
