i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
