Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize