he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
