my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
