i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
