Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
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