More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
