areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
