Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
