I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
