coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
