i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so that wasnt chicken after all
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
