I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Randomize
