Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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