You're completely useless in the revolution.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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