Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
