he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
