I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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