You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
