She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
