Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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