she kept yelling 'call me bella'
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
