Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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