he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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