how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
