Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize