apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
