Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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