Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
